In a time of relative peace, it can be easy to take the contributions of veterans for granted. But once there is a grave threat to the country’s safety and security, veterans are ready to serve.
What are appropriate flowers for a veteran’s grave?
The general rule is to avoid any living thing, including flowers, on a veteran’s grave or tombstone. The reason for this is that many veterans served in combat situations where they witnessed death. After experiencing that level of violence, the last thing they would want is a living thing on their gravesite.
However, there are exceptions to this rule. If you have information about the veteran or his family, you can contact the Veteran’s Administration and ask them permission to place a flower on the grave. They will let you know if it is appropriate or not.
There are also instances when living flowers may be appropriate:
The veteran was a member of the American Legion or the Veterans of Foreign Wars and you are placing the flower on his grave as a member of that organization.
The live flower was a family heirloom.
There is no official rule; it is up to you to make your own decision. If you can, ask permission from the local veterans’ association. They may have some idea if it’s appropriate to put flowers on a veteran’s grave.
What are appropriate symbols to place on a veteran’s gravesite?
Flags
American flag. The most common flag to place on a veteran’s grave is the American flag. Although the U.S. Flag Code does not specify placement of the flag on a veteran’s grave, it is appropriate to place it at the head of the grave, closest to the headstone.
You can also place it at waist level if you wish, but never put it below waist level.
When you visit the grave, remove any weeds from under and around the flag and replace any dirt that has washed down into a crevice of the stone. If there isn’t room for both a U.S. flag and a state or military marker, then place one at each end of the grave near the headstone or footstone.
The most common flag to place on a veteran’s grave is the American flag. Although the U.S. Flag Code does not specify placement of the flag on a veteran’s grave, it is appropriate to place it at the head of the grave, closest to the headstone.
You can also place it at waist level if you wish, but never put it below waist level. When you visit the grave, remove any weeds from under and around the flag and replace any dirt that has washed down into a crevice of the stone.
If there isn’t room for both a U.S. flag and a state or military marker, then place one at each end of the grave near the headstone or footstone.
You can also display two small flags on shorter sticks: one representing your branch of service, if applicable, and one representing the veteran’s branch of service.
You can find flags in the flag section of most craft stores.
State flag
Some states have a law requiring that their flag be placed on all veterans’ graves within the state. Check with your local veterans’ organization to see if this applies in your area.
If it does, then you should place the state flag on the grave. If not, then you should not put it on the grave unless you have permission from a family member or other close contact with the veteran’s family.
Military branch marker
The Department of Defense is responsible for placing military branch markers on veterans’ graves, but you can request one if you wish to place it on a veteran’s grave without going through them directly.
Contact your local VFW post or American Legion to see if they will order one for you and visit your local military installation to have them placed on the grave for you. There are two types of markers: The standard marker is a convex marker with “U S” at top and brass eagle insignia at bottom center; and A flat marker with “U S” at top and bronze 5-point star insignia at bottom center, with no brass eagle insignia.
The standard marker is easier to read from a distance than the flat marker so use that if possible, but either one is appropriate to place on a veteran’s grave.
Sometimes family members want something more personal than just placing a flag or military symbol on a veteran’s grave, so they may choose to put something else there as well such as an engraved stone or bronze plate that tells something about their loved one such as where he was born or where he served during wartime.
These are fine to place on the grave as well.
What are appropriate symbols to place on a veteran’s tombstone?
Proudly serving. The most common symbol placed on a veteran’s tombstone is a military symbol showing that he served in the military.
Sometimes, the symbol is placed on the tombstone with an engraving of the branch of service and sometimes it is just placed there without any additional information.
If you have information about which branch of service he was in, or other relevant information about his military career, you may want to add that to his tombstone as well.
You can find several versions of military symbols for placement on veterans’ gravestones at MilitaryGravestoneSymbols.org. Even if there is not room for any other type of decoration, it is appropriate to place a small American flag at the top center of the gravestone or near it.
Common Symbols
The most common symbol placed on a veteran’s tombstone is a military symbol showing that he served in the military.
Sometimes, the symbol is placed on the tombstone with an engraving of the branch of service and sometimes it is just placed there without any additional information.
If you have information about which branch of service he was in, or other relevant information about his military career, you may want to add that to his tombstone as well.
Even if there is not room for any other type of decoration, it is appropriate to place a small American flag at the top center of the gravestone or near it.
Flag Displays
Some families choose to put up an American flag display every day somewhere near where their loved one’s grave lies such as at home instead. This also serves as great way to honor the veteran’s service to our country.
Some families choose to put up an American flag display every day somewhere near where their loved one’s grave lies such as at home instead.
This also serves as great way to honor the veteran’s service to our country.
Placing items on the grave
It is inappropriate and not permitted by military cemeteries for someone other than a family member or designated representative of the family (such as a funeral home) to place any items on a veteran’s grave. Even items that are appropriate for display, such as flowers or flags, should be placed there only by family members or their designated representatives.